white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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