So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Houston, we have a squirter
I can't turn off my feet"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize