I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
