All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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