he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
