remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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