i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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