would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
