Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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