watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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