Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
