hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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