I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
