I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
