yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
