I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Where is the hickey?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
