using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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