I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
