we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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