i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
