You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
