Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
