Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
