I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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