I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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