Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
