Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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