Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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