at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize