She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
