i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
