And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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