His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
