so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
