Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
