Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
