Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
