I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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