I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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