ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i may or may not be watching the land before time
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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