You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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