those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Randomize
