I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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