Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
