You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
