If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
