so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
