roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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