i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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