yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
