They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
my sisters under your porch take her home
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
