No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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