fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Randomize
