I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
